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Wednesday, February 12, 2014


I'm in a weird frame of mind.  And I've been here before.  It's not comfortable, and I guess it's not really necessary either, just another one of those "if only my brain worked differently" moments.

We're halfway through February, which means there's about 4 months left in this school year.  4 months left in Cairo, with AIS, with all the friends we've made here, and I feel like I'm in limbo.  I'm so excited about our upcoming move to Moscow in August, but there's not a whole lot I can do yet.  I know these next 4 months are going to fly by, but I'm stuck in a trench in my brain.  I really want to jump in feet first with planning for next year, and get all the information I can on Russian culture and what it's going to be like to live in Moscow.  I also want to absorb as much of the "now" as possible.  Go to dinner with friends, take Quincy to the Pyramids.  Not to mention that I still have a job and I'd like to leave feeling like the school is in a better place than when I found it.  But unfortunately I have absolutely no motivation to get involved in my life at the moment.

I'm stuck.  Between the future and the present and it's starting to make my brain hurt.

I've been here before, pretty much anytime we moved (which was a lot in high school).  My planner brain wants to drop everything that's happening now and only focus on the future.  Which is a waste, I totally get that.

I wish I could just let go, not worry about all the unknowns of the next few months, just revel in what's happening at this exact moment.  Let's try...

Quincy is really close to sitting up on his own.  He is a daily joy, we cannot get enough of his smiles, his laughter, the way he's started reaching to be held. The first tooth is coming in, so now he makes these little lip smacking noises as he tries to figure out what feels different in his mouth.

I have a great job, with lots of flexibility and so much potential to help people.

My husband truly loves me, cares for me in ways that I don't always remember to appreciate.  The other night, when I got out of the shower he'd laid out pajamas for me on the bed, with 2 different shirt options depending on how cold I was.  It's the little things like this that make him so special.

There's no doubt that life is good.  So why is it so hard sometimes to find balance between staying in the "now" to enjoy the life you have and focusing on the future?

This is my question universe... I'll expect an answer within 24 hours.  Feel free help me unstick my brain.

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