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Sunday, May 11, 2014

My first Mother's Day

This time last year I was about to explode with baby all over the place.  And you know what, my feelings got a little hurt that no one included me in the whole "Happy Mother's Day" hoopla.  I mean, hello, I'm swollen with freaking life over here!

But this year, it's official.  I'm a momma, and the past 11 months in the trenches of new mommy-hood have taught me a lot.  Including the fact that last year I was not a momma.  Creating life is not the same thing as being a mom.  It's still amazing and miraculous, but it's not the same.  Being a mom is so much more than making a baby.

The sleepless nights, time spent covered in various gross liquids, hours spent breathing in baby skin, rocking little limbs, aching in places you never knew existed as you contort your body so as not to wake the beast baby.  It's something you'll never understand until you've been there in the trenches, day after day, not just the ones that are sparkly and full of contentment.

It's a whole new place in the world, a new outlook, posture, expression on your face, way you look at other mothers and just "know" what they're thinking, feeling, going through.

I was never much for the fraternity/sorority thing, but every since I became a mom it does feel like I've become a part of a new society.  We don't have a secret handshake, but there are more subtle signs you can look for to tell if someone is a member.  Dried spit up on the shoulder of most of their clothing, unkempt hair, the ability to make a toy, pacifier, snack appear from nowhere as if by magic. It's a pretty amazing society, and I feel so blessed to be a member.

For my first Mother's Day, Ryan and Q took me to breakfast and gave me a card they made together. Q needed a little help to get the words down, but those wobbly letters reduced me to tears.

That's what it's all about right there.  Thank you Q for being my baby, for choosing me out of all the other mommas out there.  There are so many couples out there who want nothing more than to have this feeling, this society, this day.  My best friend included, and I can't imagine the heartache and loss of not being a momma if you want to be. I hope so desperately that anyone who wants children gets to experience the gift, because it is the most amazing gift there is. 

 But remember what I said earlier, it's not making a baby that makes you a momma.  It's the trenches.  And no matter what path you take, whether babies come from the stork, with a little (or a lot) of help, from a Petri dish, a donor, a foster system, or by adoption. There are so many ways to be a mom, and this loving society accepts you with open arms.

So to all the other mommas out there, whether you've got six kids lighting your kitchen on fire as we speak, one on the way, or just the dream in your heart.  Happy Mothers Day from this new recruit.  It's been the best experience of my life and I'm so thankful for all I've been blessed with.